Thursday, February 5, 2009

Breaking Patterns

Yesterday I took a health/mental health day. The truth of the matter is I've been feeling a bit run down and when you combine that with the overall winter blahs, it was best for me to just take a day and regroup.

Overall, it was a really nice day to myself. I did my best to not do things that I felt like I have to do because I am typically only afforded one true day off and week and that day I usually am required to dedicate to do things that I have to do... you know, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. But yesterday I did my best to not do these things and do things that were for me and not out of obligation.

My frustration today is that I don't necessarily feel renewed or restored. I felt great yesterday, but today I feel right back where I was.

I think the body learns patterns... well maybe the mind and the body learn patterns and my patterns are frustrating sometimes. I don't always know how to break them. This is why sometimes I try and make lists and check things off because if I can make sure I will complete certain tasks then maybe it can break certain patterns.

I watched No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain with the ladies last night. It was the Chicago episode and I was thinking about the ways in which I really am glad to be in this city. I sometimes grapple with living here for a number of reasons and I don't know that Chicago will always be my place of residence, but as I watched Anthony wax poetic about the city which I have occupied now for over five years I couldn't quite think of myself anywhere else. There is an embodiment and energy here of a lot of things I stand for... for better or worse and it was fun to hear someone, not from here, be able to articulate those things. I would argue that some of these notions are largely midwestern, but I think when you add the global ness of living in a metropolis it synthesizes something that is in my head.

In other completely unrelated news, I loathe biting into a "mealy" apple.

1 comment:

matthew roderick said...

i just had to agree with the mealy apple, there isn't much worse.